Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Ten things Jews don't get about Gentiles

10.   Kabbalah Center:  you want to stay a goy, great.  You want to convert to Judaism, well…  But the Kabbalah Center?  Really?  Mormonism at least has magic underwear.
9.  Bacon, ok.  But Canadian bacon?
8.  What do you do with all the time you don’t use for reading?
7.  What is that thing with your car?  What, are they going to bury you in it?
6.  People who retire, have money, and still stay in the Midwest.
5.  Why would a non-Palestinian gentile be passionate about Israel, for or against?  I haven’t met a Jew who is passionate about Tonga.
4.  Our sons have their first alcoholic beverage at age 8 days.  And you expect yours to wait until he is 21?
3.  Hunting:  you wander around in the cold and wet from morning to night, and if, you are very skilled and lucky, you wind up with an animal that you have to butcher that is full of metal.  Easier to stand in line at Zabar’s.
2.  If you have something to say, interrupt, dammit!
1.  You actually want to convert to Judaism?

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